180

I am in desperate need of action. I am so ridiculously unhappy with my body...it's not even funny anymore. So...what to do. It seems that regardless of how much I want to change, in the moment I just can't. The past five days or so I've been completely out of control. I've never been this bad. And I'm back up to my highest weight ever.

Today I ate:

A tortilla with peanut butter and nutella
2 packages of peanut butter granola bars
Probably close to 25 hersheys kisses
Strawberry pop-tarts
6 oreos
A small caesar salad
A cup of tomato soup
Focaccia bread
Two huge glasses of diet coke
Two boca burgers with buns, cheese, ketchup
An ear of corn with butter and salt
A pack of trail mix

Holy shit, right? I know. I feel so sick right now.

I have 51 days until college starts. I'm going to commit to 51 days of relatively healthy eating and consistent exercise. Along with that comes a commitment to 51 days of blogging and daily weigh-ins. If after 51 days I don't see results or don't think they're worth it, then I can eat whatever I damn well please. But I have to give myself a chance right now, because this is ridiculous. I feel so out of control. Fuck!!

Ok...I need a tentative plan, at least for tomorrow. Something to stop this binge cycle in its track. I'll wake up, and do day 1 of the "30 minute running habit" (TDMRH). I'll have a banana for fuel, then ride my bike to work. I'll bring some toast for later. Lunch will be a salad, or the healthiest equivalent at the restaurant we choose. After work, sugar snap peas or plain bread will be the only snack. Dinner isn't a problem (my mom's a health nut).
I also need to drink more water to flush the system!!

But for now, time to sleep. Tomorrow will be better.